new laptop features

Apparently my new laptop came loaded with an interesting new feature...

If you've had a long day or rough time in your last meeting and need to take out some frustration, it comes equipped with an impact-proof "strike zone". Feel free to hit it with your hand in frustration or bang your head against it. I have a feeling that if you really needed to, you could also use it in self-defense by hitting your aggressor (or frustrating co-worker) over the head.

Just make sure to use the Strike Zone. Performance of the laptop is not guaranteed if you use any other portion as an anvil.